Ask Nina

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My husband and I lost our baby boy a week after he was born and it was the worst day of my entire life it was a planned pregnancy and to have today goodbye to our baby it was also hard for us and now that I want to get pregnant again this zika virus occurs and now im scared to get pregnant how can I overcome all this circumstances?

I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you and your husband have gone through and what you are still going through. My best advice would be to speak with your OB or other medical professionals and see what they recommend you do to safeguard yourself from Zika. Find out all your options first and then you can make a decision that would be best for you and your family. Again, I’m so sorry.

What is D&C?

Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a brief surgical procedure in which the cervix is dilated and a special instrument is used to scrape the uterine lining. You can read more about it here.

I read an article about rainbow babies and i would like to know what does it mean to have a rainbow baby.

A rainbow baby is a baby that is born following a pregnancy loss.

What camera do you use?

For professional work, I shoot with a Canon 5D Mark III. For personal photos, I shoot with a Panasonic Lumix GM1.

I was just wondering if it was difficult for you when people you knew got pregnant and you see all their announcements and posts on Facebook and Instagram?

The honest truth? No, it wasn’t. I was genuinely happy for everyone and glad they didn’t have to go through the things that I did. I wouldn’t wish a pregnancy loss – or any loss – on anyone. I also had to shoot maternity and newborn sessions right after all my miscarriages. Luckily I was able to separate my personal life from my business so it wasn’t upsetting.

How many miscarriages have you had?

I had three. My last one was back in January/February of this year.

How long did it take you to get pregnant again after your miscarriages?

After each miscarriage, I got pregnant again 1.5 months later. I had one menstrual cycle and then I fell pregnant. We didn’t plan it this way but they do say you’re the most fertile during the 3 months after a loss.

Did you do IUI or IVF and were you guys planning on doing it?

No, I didn’t. All pregnancies were natural. Christopher and I said we would try again naturally for our fourth baby and if the pregnancy wasn’t viable again, we would discuss what our next steps would be.

We’ve been trying for almost a year and can’t get pregnant. Can you share what you did?

I’m sorry it’s been challenging for you. I used ovulation strips and also tracked my morning body basal temperature (BBT) with the help of the Fertility Friend app and a BBT thermometer. If you’re not familiar with tracking your BBT, just Google “tracking your bbt” and you’ll find a lot of info and instructions. (Btw, the ovulation strips I linked to also include pregnancy tests and they’re really sensitive and good.)

Did you do anything different this pregnancy?

I did and I’m going to write a detailed blog post about it very soon. I basically changed my lifestyle. Sorry that’s kind of vague but I promise I will explain everything.

I just had a D&C and this was my 2nd miscarriage. I feel lost and sad and I don’t know what to do.

I’m so sorry about your losses. Get a lot of rest and take your time grieving. Don’t hesitate to reach out to family and friends. It really helps to have a strong support system. Writing my thoughts and feelings really helped me release a lot pent up emotions.

How soon did you try again after your miscarriage?

For each of my miscarriage, I had a different OB and each of them told me we could start trying again as soon as the bleeding stopped or after one menstrual cycle. Christopher and I started trying again right away. Baby Boy Lance was a complete shock since we weren’t even trying. I guess it really is true that you’re very fertile after a miscarriage.

What prenatal vitamins are you taking?

I’m taking Thorne Prenatal Vitamins which contain folate acid and not folic acid. I never stopped taking prenatals since my first pregnancy last May and continued on even during my miscarriages and while I wasn’t pregnant. Doctor’s orders. Also, a lot of prenatals do cause nausea and vomiting so if you’re experiencing this, either take your prenatals before bed or just switch to a different brand. I personally like the plant based/vegetarian ones. If you can have folic acid, the Rainbow Light Prenatal Vitamins are great, too. They also have one for women 35+ in age.)

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I’ve been following your journey and I’m so happy for you! I’m also currently pregnant with our rainbow baby (7 weeks) and have been a nervous wreck. I read your blog post and it was like I wrote everything. Did you find you felt better when you reached your 2nd trimester?

Congratulations!!! I did feel a little bit better. When we hit specific milestones, there was a sense of relief but it lasted maybe for a moment and then it was back to being nervous and anxious. Hitting the 2nd trimester mark certainly was a huge milestone for us and I wouldn’t be exaggerating if I said we literally counted the days and hours til we reached that point. This was probably the time when we both thought, ‘Ok, maybe this is really going to happen for us.’. I think what helped me a lot was just taking it one day at a time. I also had weekly ultrasound appointments with my OB. During my first appointment, I asked him if I could come in once a week just for peace of mind and he thought it would be good for me so I wouldn’t be so stressed out. Talk to your OB and see if they would be open to that, as well.

So curious what name you guys picked! I know you want to keep it a secret but how did you choose the names?

We had a name picked out for over a year. Well, I did. haha Husband wasn’t so keen on it at first and wanted to research more and take our time to decide. Shortly after we found out the sex of the baby (between my 11th and 12th week), he started coming around and then fully embraced it. I personally just love the way it sounds with our last name and in a way it represents the journey we had making it to this point. Baby’s middle name was an easy decision and also very meaningful. We do have a back up name in case we meet our son and he looks more like one name than the other.

Are you still shooting now that you’re pregnant?

Yes! I am still booking shoots and will probably work until Thanksgiving or Dec. 1st depending on how my 3rd trimester goes. I’ll be doing Holiday shoots this year, too, which will probably be my last shoots.

When is your due date?

New Year’s Day!

Thank you for being so honest and open about your experiences. It’s helped me so much deal with my infertility and it’s nice to know I’m not alone. Were you ever nervous about sharing your story?

I’m so glad I could help! Of course, very nervous. Women who go through losses know that you end up blaming yourself and wondering what you did wrong and what you should have done right. You’re embarrassed about it especially when others around you seem to get pregnant and have babies like it’s nothing. My Husband and I had many discussions about whether we wanted to share our story and in the end we decided we wanted to so we can try and help others and let people know they’re not alone. I don’t regret opening up in a public way at all. I know how lonely and isolated it feels and if I can help one less woman feel this way, then it was all worth it.

We just found out we lost our baby at 6 weeks and 4 days. My doctor recommends I have a D&C. Did you have one and was it painful?

I am so sorry you’re going through this. My first 2 were D&C‘s and my 3rd one I miscarried naturally. My first D&C was excruciatingly painful. It was done in a doctor’s office and I was awake through the entire procedure. They did give me local anesthetics but I felt everything. My 2nd D&C was in a hospital and I was put under. The procedure and recovery wasn’t painful. The natural miscarriage was a bit painful and it took a long time for my uterus to clean itself out. Fortunately I was able to take painkillers so that really helped. I’m really sorry again and I hope everything goes well.